A Season of Testing

yesterday morning I woke woke up and it seemed like a beautiful day and so Denise and I my wife we live about 2 miles from Waterton Canyon so I thought what a great day to go walking up the canyon and just experiencing a good cool summer day of Colorado so I had an amazing walk up there i saw the deer no sheep that day but just an amazing amazing walk and I'm going can life get any better than this i mean this is just the perfect Colorado day until about 5:30 last night okay like it changed just like that did anybody get hail at your house last night yeah i I had to look at my wife going "Babe here's Numbrella you need to go out there and stand over all the flowers to make sure they don't get beat up from all this hell there." But it just changed just like that and and what a picture of our life right we just began a new series a couple weeks ago called seasons and here's what we're realizing that the seasons of life we're not talking about fall and winter and spring and summer the seasons of just our own personal lives they seem like it can change just like that you can be in a season of joy and celebration and some kind of something happens and it turns to sadness and grief you can be in a season of anticipation and go from a season really quick to a season of dread and so we go through all kinds of seasons of life and and sometimes you go through a season and it lasts just a few days and sometimes that season seems like it will never end and so we've been taking this last several weeks and we'll take a few more weeks just looking what does the Bible say about the seasons we go through not just that we will have seasons but how do we maneuver how do we get through seasons of life and still keep our mind by the time we're done and still hanging on and believing and trusting Jesus as the Lord because the Bible lets us know that he is God of all seasons and I don't know about you but I've been in some seasons before that I never doubted that he was in charge i just questioned how he was in charge because I wasn't enjoying the season that I was in and so we're going to continue our season series today but I've asked a couple of guests to join me up here because they have gone through and they're still really in a season of life that is a season of just trial a season of that they just had to just step back going God what in the world are you doing and so I'm going to invite my friends Chuck and Leela Biss if you will make your way up here and would you welcome them as they come up here

and as they get seated many of you will say "Oh Chuck and Leela." Yeah you'll recognize them leela and Chuck have been attending our church for almost 30 years leela you've been the pianist organist for almost 30 years of the church and so especially if you go to the 11:00 service you'll recognize her you'll see Chuck up here singing from time to time but your family was a part of the church but where we're going to get at today is they have written a book called Found in the Wake and it's going to share the story and we're going to take some time today to dig into y'all's story about really a trauma crisis that your family went through about five years ago now before we get started let me just go ahead and warn you right now this is going to be one of those interviews that one point you're going to stand up and celebrate and the next point you'll be grabbing somebody's sleeve next to you to wipe your snotty nose okay I just tell you it's going to be one of those how in fact Chuck as you came in today I said "Chuck how are you doing?" And your response was "I'm already a mess i went for a walk this morning and I'm listening to the worship songs for next week Sunday and they all just hit me strong." Yeah and yeah I I Good thing I had Kleenex on my walk and And here's the good news i gay Chuck you can be a mess okay because here's what we want to learn and discover as we talk today and as we as they share their story maybe it may not be your specific story but we've all had similar stories that we've gone through something the moment as followers of Jesus that our goal is to make everybody around us think we have it all together we've missed the goal that I think the healthiest walk with Jesus the healthiest body of Christ that we can be is all just walking here just going "Hey I'm a mess." And if this becomes a safe place to be a mess this is the beauty of God's family and so if you're a guest with us here today we're so glad you came maybe you've known the Vistas and you've come just to support and listen to them maybe you came in today and had no idea what was going on this is not a normal service but here's what I say welcome to the family and we're just going to take family time today so just me warn you family time on a normal Sunday it takes an hour we may take three or four hours a day so I can't guarantee anything about family time today so So okay let me let me just kind of set the stage because some don't know you guys y'all have been here about 30 years um prior to five years ago Thanksgiving um 2020 2019 y'all were just the normal all-American family in fact we have some pictures just to show you all their family um an amazing beautiful family we can all be jealous that our families aren't that beautiful it wasn't always that nice looking there's another family that shows maybe what it was like years earlier maybe we don't have one like I said some days it's just a mess okay but three boys you grew up they they were raised in this church so just introduce tell us a little bit about your family well I wanted girls and I got three boys and now I have two precious granddaughters so life life can even out but yes we had children 92 94 96 so you can imagine what that was like and uh we with a village raised them up and they finally launched they're educated and launched so those were all huge milestones yeah and probably like many people you can look back on your family and there were days you wanted to pull your hair out as parents and wonder are you going to live through three boys but it's easy just kind of an all-American family right three good boys um living life good until Thanksgiving Day 2019 take us to that day in your family's life i do so our middle son Carter went to Palm Beach Atlantic University to get a marine biology degree he lives or he grew up in Colorado and loved the ocean so it was a perfect f fit for him and he liked to or he does like to snorkel and dive and so he was at his favorite diving place snorkeling place called the Breakers Reef and it was a beautiful Thanksgiving morning and he was there with his friend Andy and uh he was just about ready to quit diving and I guess you want me to tell the story and Carter's going to help tell it as well so there's a there was an incident but you got a phone call tell us just the phone call give us a brief idea of it so we had just been worshiping with our oldest son Chase at his church which is just down the road road here in Denver and we were trying to find a place to walk because it was so snowy outside so we went to City Park downtown thought we'd find some sidewalks we got in the car and I had messages on my phone and it was from the Palm Beach Police saying "Please call us as soon as you can." So you can imagine that our our stomachs dropped it was uh I immediately thought having three boys oh no what did Carter do and it turned out that Carter had been in an accident and that's all we learned and he said the policeman said to call St mary's Hospital in Florida so that's what we did next so can you imagine it's the phone call the call that no one ever wants to get and your son your child has been in an accident and you just need to call the hospital and you guys are in Colorado and he's in Florida a long ways away and probably became longer seeming feeling like and that phone call um and so the season changed went from all American family it's Thanksgiving Day you're going home ready to eat the turkey used to be my favorite holiday Thanksgiving Day and that day is now marked in a whole different way for you isn't it Chuck watch this we Carter couldn't be here with us but we we got hold of Carter and he's going to share with us what happened on that day the reason his family got that phone call and this day was no different uh it was uh just the same as usual we were out there for about three hours it was a beautiful day uh yeah really a perfect day and we decided it was about time to head back and I started swimming back towards the beach and kind of this was the moment I I heard the sound of a large boat and that sound particular was not really an unusual thing out there uh a lot of boats did come by us i had a divers's down flag which boats would recognize and stay at least at 300 feet away from it so they were never really that close to me but uh the sound of boats travels really far underwater so you could always hear them from a distance away but this sound uh got extremely loud really quickly so I knew something was up so I was swimming towards the beach i actually looked to my right which is the north of me and I saw this massive hole of a boat um heading straight towards me at a very fast speed and just in that moment alone I was in a life ordeath situation you know I knew um I was going to get hit by this boat in some capacity whether it hit my entire body and basically kill me on impact or just kind of clip me was a matter of just reacting in a few seconds right there uh so I did manage to quickly turn my uh torso so it was facing kind of away from the boat and I you know I was trying to use my limbs to swim as fast as I could away from this massive boat uh but unfortunately you know I couldn't get far enough fast enough and the uh propellers hit all of my limbs as it um as the boat passed by and after the impact it was really swift i you know it was just maybe a second but the first thing I noticed was that my right arm uh was gone it uh it actually had been severed and I saw a short glimpse of it sinking onto the reef below me uh you know an image that I will never ever forget and then after pro trying to process that in the you know two seconds that occurred um I noticed I couldn't swim the water around me was turning red and both my legs were severely cut by the propellers to the point where they were just dangling off me so they were useless and uh you know I was thinking and at the time I didn't even know but my left hand had also been hit um kind of right on my wrist um but I had a glove on like a dive glove so I couldn't really know at the time but uh obviously I was in sheer panic mode i thought I was going to die i was going under um while trying to you know raise my head up screaming for help but uh not being able to swim i was slowly sinking i was inhaling water and blood and uh thankfully my friend uh Andy was close by he actually saw the whole thing take place he didn't know right away that the boat had hit me he was just going to like "Holy crap Carter." You know that was a close boat but then he realized that um it did hit me and he immediately jumped into go mode he swam to me and was able to lift me up out of the water and that's when he saw the extent of my injuries and knew that this was you know probably going to kill me uh you know I was probably not going to make it through this and uh after that thankfully the boat that hit me saw what happened they turned around and um called 911 uh kind of pulled up to where Andy was and got the back of the boat to the point where he could try to lift me in and uh at that point there was another um paddle boarder nearby she was like snorkeling and paddle boarding uh Andy and I didn't even know her at the time she was just kind of a stranger to us who was enjoying the day out there and uh she her name's Christine she had just recently about a week earlier learned how to tie like properly tie a tourniquet and uh just kind of a miracle in that moment she uh kicked into action and immediately started tying um kind of the bungee that goes through her paddle board around my arm um and whatever she could whatever that was around she started tying around my legs and that moment you know they uh that saved my life basically that she was able to jump into action and prevent me from bleeding out because I think I lost about half my blood the doctors say um before I got into the boat boat there uh so they got me onto the boat christine had tied those tourniquets and the ambulance was actually right on the beach ready uh to get me up pick me up and uh I I was still freaking out i thought I was still going to die and the boat was slowly taking Andy and I to the beach and you know I was just still in Andy's arms like screaming "I'm going to die." You know this is this is it um still trying to process the shock and horror of it all and Andy just calmly says you know he didn't really know what else to say but he just said that God is here right now and that was those words those simple words just really kicked myself into a different gear you know I I felt this this amazing sense of peace as I was looking to just looking into the blue sky above me almost forgot about all of this happening and just felt this sense of uh calm and uh understanding that you know God is still in control it was just a subtle reminder but a huge moment that shifted my attitude towards I'm going to die to more of I'm going to survive this and I'm going to make the best out of this whatever happens next I you know is out of my control but I want to make the best out of

this those words God is here and Carter said he felt his peace y'all get a phone call chuck are you feeling the same way when you get the phone

call i'll never forget that feeling of receiving that phone call it was um I think Joe Hess described it as being hit by a 2x4 and it you you just nothing in life prepares you for something like that um it just we couldn't imagine and then when we called the St mary's uh the trauma center um the first thing they asked us they said "How much do you know?" And and and all we knew is that he was in an accident and so when the nurse you know tells you that your son loses an arm and and they're trying to save his legs and

the last the last thing ever I thought we would have to deal with yeah let me ask you as you guys are watching the video i'm up here with y'all and you've seen that video before you've heard the story you've helped write the book but I saw the this emotion inside of you what was what goes on inside of you when you see that again chuck do you have 10 years i I've

It's it's a it's a uh I think it's just a lot of wrestling and I wrestle with um wrestle with God you know I I've just had a a very uh I grew up in the church and uh had a had a you know a life of faith and at that moment it it I didn't run away from God i didn't run away from my faith but it it turned into a I didn't run toward him for comfort i I just ran toward

him and beat my fists into his chest and just so angry you know I there's just this anger and I wrestle with you know with that song we sing he has good plans i wrestle with that you know I I I don't um I will always wrestle with that yes i'm sure many in this room have had your own crisis where you run to God but you're beating your hands against the chest aren't you glad God has a really strong chest i mean instead of pushing you back take a lot because one of the things that um I did when I was um first we flew out to Florida that night because we we didn't know if he would survive if he would have any limbs left uh we just didn't know um so when so we were in the um so at the hospital uh I was just a mess and so I had to get it out somehow and I didn't know but I just found this place in the back of the hospital outside it was very remote i call it my whailing wall and I just launched a string of profanities to God that I didn't even know I knew how to say it was like I was a sailor i was cursing like a sailor to him at the top of my lungs and I didn't doubt that he is faithful great is thy faithfulness i didn't doubt that he is sovereign like you said on Mother's Day but the concept that his plans are good that's that's a tough one for me yeah leela for you um and this is not a promo for the book but there'll be so many more details in the book that they can't get today give us just a minute and a half summary over the next six seven months what took transpired physically what transpired emotionally with the Carter with you guys well when we arrived there we braced ourselves not knowing what he would look like but we also figured that he was by himself we did not know we knew he had been with Andy but we had no idea of his communities he's he's a young man with few words who would call about twice a month and then fill us in on what's going on but nothing about anything about other people and so when we got there there was this huge circle of people from Loggerhead Marine Life Center where he works where they rescue sea turtles most of those sea turtles have been struck by boats and his church family he was playing bass guitar at Truth Point Church and um there were there was an an amazing amount of community there that so that was stunning to us the other thing is is that I got to call out Chuck for uh you know being able to book flights to get us there and uh I think that's why maybe you struggle so much yet because he took charge and he he didn't stop and so when we got there it was "Okay now what do we do carter needs this he's going to need this surgery we're going to clean his arm now." All those kind of things so it was just a barrage of of treatments and surgeries and we don't know if and he has to stay intubated because he might uh he might not do well without it there was just so many questions and eventually they got answered and I remember a nurse saying "Just take one day at a time." And I was not happy when she told me that i don't want to hear that there was and I too you know me I'm a little I I tend to be a little bit angry so that was one of the signs of grief um I also would have moments of calm i did learn that perhaps maybe I'm a little bit more settled today because I started writing soon after the accident in our caring bridge because so many people were concerned about Carter and I've learned since then that writing expressively about traumatic events can really help you physically mentally and I think emotionally and even spiritually because I could launch my complaints to God on a piece of paper and I also did a lot of searching outside of my realm in um how the brain works different things like that and it it validated a lot of my feelings so then back to Carter he is in the hospital for 68 days and uh comes out with uh three limbs that are doing quite well it was a matter of him being able to lean on at least one limb for him to start getting rehabilitated and so watching him um have to lean on a really sore left hand his only left hand so that he could get his legs working was a big deal um but he did finally left after 68 days and then Chuck was the main caregiver yeah I uh I took a leave of absence from work and I uh just lived with Carter uh in Florida for about six to eight months I guess just to and you were here in Denver because you had to continue your piano lesson because I thought I was going to teach and he had to get um he had to get permission to work remote and then COVID happened so that was a weird thing too because we had heard that something was going on in the world we're like well it doesn't matter and uh then it did so yeah so the uh uh Carter and I just lived together and I I was his caretaker and brought him to all his appointments you know arranged all his medical uh you know his medicines he had a had a horrible infection that um basically took over his right leg and so it was a constant constant battle to try to get that you know uh healed and he had a a pickline so I was the administrator of all his antibiotics and you know we had appointments with the disease specialist uh weekly and and you know it was it was tough i I'm still you know I'm still haunted by his right leg because that was you know is it are they going to have to take it you know I I really seriously it it was it was that bad so you were father nurse um cheerleader yes and Superman all rolled up in one because during this tri the crisis trauma you couldn't take care of you you everything I put myself aside yeah i totally put myself aside you called it your tour of duty yeah and then and then everything hit the fan when I came back um my my whole u my whole emotional system was upset and so I I could not regulate any emotions and I still can't but I uh I I I didn't know what to do and so I I just sought out mental health uh professionals to because it was a new season once he got past critical crisis Never imagine your own triage for your own self let So you guys were apart you were in Denver for these six seven eight months you'd go out there occasionally again not trying to promote the book but it's an amazing book you'll read about it more i know sometimes when Denise and I are going through crisis like we don't crisis together and there's a little tension in the pastor's family how did y'all handle marriage oneness and crisis well number one I we made it we made a pact early on that we decided that this was not going to destroy our marriage because we love our family we have three fantastic young women men and they have wonderful partners and Levi is here with Aaron and I got to spend COVID with Levi and Aaron so that was a gift um so he's a control freak and so it Anybody else have partners that are control freaks in here go ahead and confess for them and it made sense for me to leave because I I was a nuisance to him because I would be upset about things and I couldn't handle things the way he could so it was better that I left and I also think that maybe I was a control freak because I wanted to control something so if I couldn't be in control over there I wanted to go home and be in control so there maybe we're both control freaks yeah the uh the first Christmas afterwards Leela bought both of us matching rings just to to you know to point out that we are never going to let anything come between us

you can kiss her on stage that's okay we we'll allow it okay

yeah it was it was tough so this and and we're trying to nutshell in 30 minutes this seven eight nine 12 month thing yeah great crisis of faith um beating your hands against God's chest and he's strong enough to take it you're not giving up on God you're just not happy never gave up on God in fact I um there is this one book I read about it's called Lament for a Son and it's this father wrote it and one line in that book I will never forget it's uh it says through the prism of my tears I see a suffering God and that resonated with me you know I that's a a a God I didn't see before yeah what about you Leela well I learned that God lets us lament it's okay to be sad and society tends to rush grief and like "Oh you'll be okay." And I studied the Psalms because I was not in scripture i didn't know how to approach God and what I learned was that wow David can whine like the best of us and he hated his enemies he was I'm surprised that that's even in the Bible some of the some of the thoughts that David had about his enemies and yet God was okay with it the other thing is I thought okay so if I don't believe in God anymore then what and I see friends I have very clear uh close dear friends who do not have a community like this and they don't believe in a sovereign God they maybe believe in a little bit of a universe thing but I can see that they have a rock solid basis for getting up in the morning and not worrying about things and you know the one thing we can be certain of is uncertainty and so I think that what I've come away with is that God is sovereign god is certain and man I ask him you know why an arm why Thanksgiving Day but those are we live under a mystery and I think those are some of the big takeaways that I've taken one other really good quote from Rabbi Steve Leer he says "When you've been through hell don't leave empty-handed." And say that one more time when you've been through hell don't leave empty-handed and we're all going to go through something and what is it going to look like on the other side and I am not so happy with how I was in that dark tunnel i could have been better we both could have been better but it's but we're on the other side and it's I don't want to say it's brighter because it's brighter and sunnier but the lights kind of hurt it's I I need to go back in sometimes just to remember the dark to remember what grieving is and I now feel like I can grieve with others and allow them that space you know what what I want to look at for just a second you said you could have been better and I think we all so many times in our lives we live under this heavy cloak of performance and and I want to just say this so you could have been better so what i don't think God's up in heaven right now with this little checklist going let me evaluate Chuck and Leela how they did during this crisis and yes check they could have been better and God is not doing that with you either that is a thing about God that I grab hold of this that his chest is big and you can beat your chest when you're going through a hard time that you may not be all that you wish you would have been but God is not sitting up there going "Ah I'm take take a check off that one." That he's still right there for you there's a verse and we'll put it up here on the screen it's Romans 8:23 or I'm sorry 8:28 and it's a very familiar verse and it says this and we know that God causes or we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose and so no matter what comes our way he puts it all together and he makes it work sometimes there are things that you didn't bring upon yourself sometimes we make choices that we bring about the crisis but the Bible says this he works all things not the things you had no control of not the things that you could have done better in but he takes all things and works together for the good of those that love him now that's a beautiful verse in fact if you have your hand out and you're taking notes let me give you one fill in i only do this for you type A people that will leave here a nervous wreck if you don't fill in all the blanks um but it says this "Good," meaning God works all things for the good good is defined by God's purpose not our preference good is defined by God's purpose and not our preference now I want to pull you behind the curtains a little bit more so you and I are interacting texting several months ago we're kind of talking through this thing and I'm I'm going to read you the text between Leela and I okay i said um um I said I I I Good morning i'm thinking through our conversation on May 25th is there a particular scripture your family held on to during the season and then I wrote the the Romans verse i said "Here's a great one um and I'll probably refer to that during our time together." And this is what Leela wrote "it's okay although I feel like it's a little cliche and I don't always love him during it all." Wow let me read that to you again this is not indictment on you i think what it is is it's just showed us all for who we are right um she says "It's okay although I feel it's a little cliche I don't always love him during it all talk to us what went on when you wrote that

i don't think everything's going to be rosy and you know he says that he protects us well where was he when that boat came and clobbered Carter i So I what I've lived with is a quote which I don't have it's in the book but uh God offers not a promo but get the book and it's in there god offers minimum protection and maximum support and that's how I've lived all right say that again because it's rich and good god offers minimum protection and maximum support wow and that's how I have to live from here on out and I understand that every piece of scripture speaks to someone in a different way and I think maybe I'm being a little bit too human about this but I think God lets us kind of pick and choose i don't want to say he wants us to create our own faith and our own spiritual journey but sometimes we just have to hang on to the little threads that are going to get us through because his Holy Spirit gives that thread to you at that moment so you get to hang on to that thread and if you can't hang on to the rest of the Bible he's going "That's okay hang on to this piece right here." Now there was something else going on inside of you remember here's her son has this horrible accident minus an arm two legs that are learning to walk again a bad hand and it's his life but coming from a classicalally trained amazing pianist and Carter had taken that same route in life so you're also now viewing your son as how can he play the piano how can he do this thing that God gifted him talk us through that a little bit i still don't think I have really settled in on that yet um I I play piano with two hands i wrote one piece for one hand carter thought it was okay um he he likes to play big Shopan things like Okay so I'm just not going to go there i don't know how I would be if I was playing with one hand i don't think I could the way he is but uh I do feel like music for both Carter and I helped us again in a way that I don't think you had and we both had this sense of being able to be creative and also found that music was a place for our emotions to land and a lot of times I couldn't pray but the music gave me the words I would I would play and weep while I'm playing but I couldn't weep while I was doing something else so there's some kind of connection that music has the arts has and Carter felt that same thing and it was very hard on him we would come into his hospital room he says "How am I going to play piano again Mom?" And I would try not to cry and like "I don't know hun." And I I don't know i came up with something but it usually I wanted to fall into a puddle of tears there there's a part in the book that Carter wrote i want to read this quote to you um is he said this "My choice between why me and why not me as a way to handle the incident reminds me of my favorite part of Jesus sermon on the mount." Enter by the narrow gate for the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction and those who entered are many for the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life and those who find it are few and so it sounds like he he went through had to struggle through why not why why me but had to get off of that just going God's in God's got this i may not like it but God's got this in fact um we have another little video from Carter again we wish he could be here um but he talks a little bit more about this why me watch this video so I specifically chose the verse uh from Matthew 7 uh in my epilogue for the book uh just because it it really did a good job of illustrating how I felt um especially in the early days um how you know I'm on a narrow path right now i'm on a journey that most people wouldn't want to go on or have to go on and uh I know that despite being on that narrow path it's kind of leading me towards salvation and God still guiding me through that and it was just comforting to know that it says that you know you enter through the narrow paths that the way to salvation the way to peace and righteousness is through the narrow pathway and you know the harder And then the wide easy way isn't really going to lead you anywhere so that gave me some comfort in those early days and kind of throughout my recovery journey so the why not me kind of came about uh as soon as I said as you know I can make a bigger difference now than I ever could before the accident it was a real um moment of well I survived this i'm a huge uh just advocate for the ocean i have a big passion for everything in the ocean and God's creation and I can use this story to help make an impact you know on the ocean that I love so much so I kind of almost felt like God chose me to further pursue my passion of the ocean through this accident and not only um that but also gave me a testimony to share to other people i know I've impacted a lot of people just through telling my story which I could have never done if this didn't happen to me so I can only really imagine how many lives I'm going to change through this experience and I know that God gave me this um kind of as a gift in disguise you know as horrible as the whole ordeal was you know looking back on it six years from now I can see that God's perfectly sculpted master plan has come into shape through giving me a family giving me a a testimony to share and uh I've just really seen his blessings you know come through in my life hi everyone this is my wife Emily and our nine-month old daughter Harper June say hi Harper

she's very happy okay if you weren't crying yet if you did cry then you need to pinch yourself make sure you have emotions but here's what I want to say this all happened thanksgiving 2019 there's been a lot of days and weeks and months and years since then and so it's been a process hasn't it um we we said this season or this sermon is called a season of testing and and Carter made that comment in there he said "It I it seems like it's a gift in disguise." A gift in disguise and maybe you're here today and you're going through a season of testing and you may not can even recognize it as a gift in disguise until further re hindsight is so much better to view things in here right before the accident I read a book by Kate Bowler called Everything Happens and Then for a Reason is Crossed Out and I I subscribe to that feeling that this did not happen because for a reason however that's exactly what Carter says and I have to support him on that because I think I would be the same way if I lost an arm it has to be for a reason um I'm still not going to ever say that I'd like to like accept this i'd much rather go back to the way things were and yet you can see there has been a plan and um we would have never known it was there chuck for you personally your relationship with God how is your relationship with God different now than on the day before Thanksgiving 2019

i I can tell you without a doubt that my relationship with God now is by far stronger than it was before that event um just like I said it it just the the raw anger uh I didn't run away you know I ran with the fists and a lot of times that will strengthen a relationship you know those raw emotions and so it it doesn't look the same but it's stronger yeah lea what about you i have a quote in my head right now that I feel speaks to how I want to look at this and a lot of times we ask God to reveal himself to us and I feel like what happened with this whole incident is that God is revealing himself through us and um if I can be a vessel I will do that i'm not going to be always that perfect little faithful servant that a lot of people expect uh most Christians to be um I have a lot of doubt and yet I know that there's certainty in him you know just to normalize trials in all of our lives just by the show of your hand anybody ever went through doubt in a trial that you went through with God look around the room okay that's why I said this is a family a safe place to be in the process of who God made us now I want I want to close with this because the whole piano thing okay I'm no musician i I just not I can't even clap on time right but I can't imagine someone who that's part of their passion of life but Carter can play now can't he one-handed he can play in fact um watch this video he tells us where God has him in this process uh I was really into playing piano uh especially like the year up leading up to the accident it was kind of I do it before work after work kind of wind down at night um I liked challenge my challenging myself to learn harder pieces that I thought I couldn't play and it was it was kind of like a hobby I'd say um up until the accident so after the accident I did a lot of reflecting in the hospital thinking I'd never be able to play again or at least play like a really simplified dumbed down version of what I could play before with one hand and it was really discouraging to kind of dwell on those thoughts then about a month or so after getting out of the hospital I sat down at that same uh keyboard I bought just a few weeks before the accident and started playing it was understandably frustrating just to operate with one hand and first time how it sucked the first time and you know I got pretty angry about my situation but I came back to it then back to it again and then I started getting kind of like my groove in to where I could you know just play simple but effective things and as I mentioned in my talk it was time and repetition mainly i I really really wanted to play these pieces that I was playing before the accident cuz I just loved playing piano and I wasn't going to let my circumstances stop me uh I feel I feel more confident playing with one hand than I ever did with two hands to be honest I uh it's been about five years I've been playing

Yeah

to catch a song that is playing is it is well and I know nothing about music but when you read the music it shows what two hands do but he had someone write rewrite that piece of music for one hand and it is well that's their story but I know in this room there's many other stories and some are in the middle of testing in trials right now and so you can't look back with the same view that Leela and Chuck has some have gone through your story but you're still looking back and there's still kind of that that PTSD just kind of like I haven't got all the way where I want to get in it and some the story is still yet to be written because I don't think we'll ever get through life without trials we'll probably never get through out throughout life without some kind of crisis so the story is in front of you my prayer this morning is that in the middle of beating God's chest with your hands in the middle of finding a wailing wall and saying words that we would never say on this stage in the middle of crying and just wrapping your arms around God that we could all sing it is well i'm going to ask you to stand and we're going to enter in a time of worship now that seems kind of weird right to worship but you can worship in the middle of it it is well i don't agree i wish this would never happen God i don't know what you're thinking but I will still worship and say it is well

[Music] when peace like a river attendeth my way when [Laughter] sorrows like sleep pillows

roll

whatever my heart thou has taught me to say it is well it is well with my soul

it is well [Music]

with my soul with my soul it is well it is well with my [Music]

soul and surely your goodness and mercy will follow after me to fear will not find me cuz I'll be dwelling in the house of God surely your goodness and mercy will follow after me so fear will not find me cuz I'll be dwelling in the house of God surely and your goodness and mercy will follow after me fear will not find me cuz I'll be dwelling in the house of God surely your goodness and mercy will follow after me so fear will not find me cuz I'll be dwelling in the house of God he has good plans he has good plans for me so I will take on in deserts in gens he has good plans he has good plans for me if I know my father I know my father has good plans

and good

pants good pants if I know my father I know my father has good

plans good

plans good plans if I know my father I know my father has good plans

[Music] so Lord Jesus

we we bring our plans to your

altar and and we confess now that your plans are greater than our plans your ways are greater than our ways and thank you holy God that you meet each of us where we are god thank you that you take each of us to places that we would choose never to go that narrow is the road that leads to the knowing you in a deeper

way and so Father I pray now for anyone in this room that is just in the middle of

it god thank you that your chest is strong thank you that your arms are always wide open

thank you that you're always a safe

place God thank you that you have good

plans and your good plans lead us to knowing you better and we pray this in your holy name amen amen would you be seated just