It’s Complicated - New Identity that Rewrites Old Labels - Philemon 1:12-16

Man, y'all are a Gabby bunch of people. Okay, y'all like talking, don't you? It's been a great day so far. And again, I just want to welcome you here. If you're a guest with here with us today, let me let you know where we've been as a church study. And several weeks ago, we began a study in the book of Phileiman or Phileiman or however you want to call it, but it's a small little book in the New Testament. We call it a book, but it's actually a letter. And it's a letter by this guy by the name of Paul. The Apostle Paul wrote to this other guy by the name of Phileiman. Now, I'm about to kind of tell you the context of it, but before we start it, can I just say it gets really complicated, okay? Because there's a relationship, a relationship that Paul has with Phileiman. And you know, anytime you have two people in a relationship, it has a tendency to get complicated. But there's another guy by the name of Onissimus, and he's a part of this. And so, as I describe it to you, it it's going to sound a little complicated. I'll try to go simple enough that if you've never heard the story, you can pick up on it. But here's why we're doing this this this study in in the book of Phileiman. Because all relationships are complicated, aren't they? You can think to some of your easiest relationships and they can be complicated at times, but even more than that, can you imagine? Can you think about some relationships that you have in your life that aren't so easy? Maybe they're people that you dread getting time with. Maybe there are people if they're sitting next to you, maybe don't amen right now, but just people that are just difficult to be around. Or maybe there's been a broken relationship at some point. So, we know those relationships can be complicated. And so here's the complication of this relationship between Paul and between Phileiman and Onysimus. So Phileiman was a very wealthy landowner, very wealthy person back in the days. This is written 2,000 years ago. And back in those days, it was normal if you had money to have servants or what we often call slaves. Now, we're going to talk about slaves. We're not going to dig into the right or wrong. We all can agree that was a very dark season in many ages of the world, especially in our own country. And so we're definitely not highlighting slaves, but in that time, that custom, that tradition, it was normal for a wealthy person to have slaves. And so, Phileiman was a follower of Jesus. His whole life was committed to letting people know who Jesus was. And he had this slave by the name of Onissimus. Well, one day, Onisimus just got tired of being a slave. And so, we find out in this letter that we've been studying that Onysis probably stole some things from his owner, Phileiman, and he took off and he ran away. Now, it was a crime back in those days. If you're a slave, you weren't allowed to run away. And if you're a slave, you definitely couldn't steal anything. But Onismus runs away and he goes lives his life someplace else. And he meets this guy by the name of Paul, the Apostle Paul, who is a follower of Jesus. And in their relationship, Paul introduces Onisimus to who Jesus Christ is. Onus ends up giving his life to Jesus. And so, Paul starts discipling him. And in the course of their discipling, Onismus realizes he needs to do the right thing according to that day. And he decided to go back home to Phileiman. But he's nervous because he had stolen from him because he had run away from him his slave owner. He could have faced serious punishment. He could have been beaten. He could have put in jail. He could have even been executed. And so you can see the complication going on here. And so one day Onismus begins telling Paul, who's this discipler, about his situation, what he wants to do, but what he could face. And Paul looks at him going, "Now who's your owner?" And he goes, "Filean." And the Apostle Paul goes, "He's a friend of mine. I know Phileiman. I I know him well." And so Paul writes a letter for Onismus to carry back to Phileiman to introduce him and saying, "Listen, you need to look at this whole thing different. Instead of punishing him, you need to reconcile with him. Not as a slave, but as your brother in Christ. And so really the letter of Phileiman is about reconciliation. Reconciliation not because that's what the world says do, but because that's what the gospel calls us to do. In the first week, we learned a truth. And if you're taking notes, you can write this down. And basically, the truth said this in our first week. Our relationship with Jesus should transform the way we relate to others. Whether we are in broken relationships or not broken relationships, no whether we know them intimately or we barely know them because of Jesus who lives in us that should affect how we live outside of us. And it should affect the relationships around us. And in fact, we learned that because fileman was such a loving, caring guy. He had a church and back in those days, they didn't have church buildings like we have today. And so he opened up a church in his own home. And he was kind and gracious to good people. Jesus affected how he interrelated with people. And we looked a little bit a little bit more. And the second thing we learned a couple of weeks ago is this. Our relationship with Jesus leads us to pursue reconciliation with others. Our relationship with Jesus leads us to pursue reconciliation with others. See, it's not just a matter of treating people kind that are kind to us. And loving Jesus is more than being nice to people who are nice to us. Because of our relationship with Jesus, when we have broken relationship, when we have unhealed hurts, when we have woundedness, when we are torn apart in relationships, it is Jesus in us that should lead us to reconcile with others. That's what the apostle Paul was doing throughout this letter. He's he's trying to help Paul or trying to help Phileiman and Onisimus reconcile the relationship. The reason we're looking and studying at a letter written 2,000 years ago is not because of necessarily Phileiman and Onissimus. It's because of me and the broken relationships in my life. It's because of the broken relationships in your life. Because of Jesus, it should lead us to reconciliation. Today, here's what we're going to discover. If you're taking notes, you can just write this truth down. We're going to discover this. Our relationship with Jesus requires us to see others as Jesus sees them. Our relationship with Jesus requires us to see others as Jesus sees them. See, sometimes we look at reconciliation as I have reconciled with you. And reconciliation in our minds thinks we're no longer mad at each other. But we live live in emotional neutrality. We we live in not just emotional neutrality. We just live like, "Well, I'm no longer mad at you. I just don't really love you anymore." We're reconciled on the outside, but our hearts are really long ways from it on the inside. I remember a number of years ago in my marriage, Denise and I had one of these moments. We got into a sometimes I say spat because it seems more pastoral. We got into a fight, okay? I mean, it was a doozy. It was years ago in our marriage and we had not learned the maturity of how to work through conflict. It was just ugly. And my wife is walking out the back door right now. So, I'm saying and it was all her fault. Okay, that's what this fight was all her fault. It was just ugly. This is how ugly it was. I was away and I came home and when I opened the door, my kindergarten daughter was at the door and when she opened the door, she goes, "Daddy, I missed you and I'm sorry mommy's not going to talk to you for three days." Okay, it was one of those type of fights and we really went through two days of unreconciled conflict. Finally, about the third day, we kind of get together going, "Okay, where are you? I'm, you know, I did my part. You did your part." In the back of my mind, I'm thinking, "No, you did all the part, but I'll take some of it right now." Honestly, we're reconciling on the outside, but I'm still mad on the inside because in my mind, I'm thinking, if she hadn't done this, if she had done something different, we would have never had this fight. But here, I'm having to kind of just say I'm sorry when I'm like, I didn't do anything. But as good couples, we reconciled and life was okay, but inside I wasn't as good as I was or inside I wasn't as good as I was on the outside. But we had reconciled. And I'll never forget, I was having my quiet time, my time with Jesus a few days later, and the Holy Spirit spoke to me so clearly, he said, um, Keith, you need to forgive her. And in my conversation with Jesus, I'm like, Jesus, I did forgive her. He goes, "No, you need to forgive her." Now, you don't want to ever argue with Jesus, right? But I'm going, "Jesus, I forgave her." Right there in the room, I said, "I'm sorry. I forgave her for this." And I'll never forget, the Holy Spirit spoke to me so clearly. He said, "No, Keith, you need to forgive her for the future things that she'll do."

Yeah. You see, here's the problem. I was still looking at my wife through the lens of my woundedness of our previous fight and not the lens of the cross. And so when I looked at her and viewed her and viewed our relationship through the in through the lens of my woundedness, it affected how I saw her. And the Holy Spirit spoke and said, "Keith, you need to view her through the lens of the cross because that will cover anything else that she will ever do against you the rest of your life."

You see, the gospel, Jesus, the reconciliation changes how we see people in the future. And it changes how we see people today. It doesn't just mend the squabble. It changes how we see them. At this moment, if you're tracking with the pastor, this means yes. This means a no. This means I'm about to follow your wife cuz I don't want to hear any more of this. Okay? This is getting too close to home. In fact, let me just read for you. Let's go back to our since we're studying the book of Phileiman. Let me just read it for you. And it says this in Phileiman starting in verse 12. Remember this is Paul wrote the letter to Phileiman, but he's handing it to Onismus and said, "Hand this to your to your former owner." He goes, "I'm sending him back." Meaning Onisimus, I'm sending him back to you. And with him comes my own heart. I wanted to keep him here with me while I am in these chains for preaching the good news. And he would have helped me on your behalf. But I didn't want to do anything without your consent. And he went on to say, I wanted to I wanted you to help because you were willing, not because you were forced. It seems you lost onus for a little while so that you could have him back forever. Now watch what he says next. He is no longer like a slave to you. He is more than a slave. For he is a beloved brother, especially to me. Now he will mean much more to you both as a man and as a brother in the Lord. You see Paul in this idea of reconciliation is doing much more than just trying to say hey Fiman you need to welcome him back. You just need to make things right. He's really trying to urge him. You need to look at him a different way. You you don't need to just open your door to your household. You need to reach out and hug him like he's your brother. In fact, look at that verse 16 one more time. And as I read it one more time, I want you to look at some specific expressions that Paul uses. He says this, "He is no longer," Remember, he's talking about Onysimus. Paul is, he goes, "He's no longer like a slave to you. He is more than a slave, for he's your beloved brother, especially to me." Now he will mean much more to you, both as a man and a brother in the Lord. Did you get that? One of the expressions he uses is he is no longer. Now he's the same man, right? He's the same man that that ran away and stole stuff as he is walking in. What the apostle Paul is saying because of Jesus in his life and of Phileiman, you seeing him through the eyes of Jesus, through the eyes of the cross, not your hurt, not your anger, not your bitterness. He goes, when he walks in your door, he is no longer. He's a different creation. He said he is more than what he was when he left. And then he says this, he will mean much more to you. When it comes to reconciliation in our lives, whether it's a one-time squabble with a spouse or a long-term broken relationship that you haven't spoken for that p to that person in years and years and years, when it comes to broken relationships, verse 16 should be the very template that we use to view all people. In fact, it may be one of the most powerful verses in all the Bible. when it comes to this. In fact, I I want you to read it again with me. We're going to put it up on the screen, but I put some blanks in there. And in these blanks, rather than the pronouns him that Paul uses when he's talking about Onissimus, I want you to put in the blanks the person you have a broken relationship with. A parent, a child, a neighbor, a co-orker. Let's read it together. Blank. You fill in the name. Blank is no longer like a blank. John is no longer like a pain in the rear.

Sharon is no longer like a betrayer. You with me? So you put the name of the person in your life. Blank is no longer like a fill in the blank. He is more than a fill in the blank. For he is beloved brother. She is a beloved sister made in the image of God. Now he or she will mean much more to you both as a blank and as a brother in the Lord. Let me read it to you another way. Maybe Jesus is saying this verse to the Holy Father about Keith. God Keith is no longer like a sinner. God. Keith is no longer like the person who keeps doing that same sin over and over. He is more than somebody you should cast off. For he is now a beloved brother. He will remain much more to you both as a child of yours and a brother in the Lord. Did you get it? Do you see how powerful that is? Do you see how powerful it is when it reconciliation? When we no longer look at somebody as they were or as they are and we look at them as who they will be.

Reconciliation looks at someone through the lens of the cross instead of the lens of the wound.

And so as we move and understand and in our own lives move towards reconciliation, it is so much more than saying, "I'm sorry. I accept your apology." It is now seeing that person as a new person. Here's what's really just affirming, what's encouraging about this. We're about to have some baptisms. And here's what the Bible says about t baptisms. It is us visually seeing somebody who they were before they go under the water. They go under the water. And when they come up, it's symbolic of who they now are in Jesus. Is them declaring their faith in Jesus. And as I said earlier, there's going to be some of them that they accepted Jesus a long time ago, but they've never followed through in believer's baptism. Now, here's what we need to understand. Believer's baptism is not required for salvation. It is a symbol of what's taking place inside of you. But it is a symbol that the scripture encourages. Even Jesus was baptized.

And so as we watch these baptisms here in a few minutes, it is a picture of seeing people not through the wounds or who they were, but seeing them through the cross and who God has made them. And what an amazing, beautiful picture. If you're here today and you've never asked Jesus in your heart, God wants to view you the same way. not in who you are, but who Jesus is. He wants to view you through the lens of the cross of Jesus. And the Bible says this, to have a relationship with Jesus, the very relationship that that that um Lori talked about is simply to say, "Jesus, I'm a sinner. Would you forgive my sins? Would you live in my life and be my boss?" And we get to experience that as we watch them proclaim it. But it can be the very salvation of your soul today. Jesus, I'm a sinner. Forgive my sins and be my boss. Will you pray with me? Father, thank you for this day. God, thank you for a day that that God is reconciliation is for all of us. Not just our earthly relationships. It is a reconciliation

for our relationship with you. And so I pray for anybody right now that does not know you as their savior that today's the day more than head knowledge that today's the day they say Jesus I believe. Jesus I trust. Jesus forgive me. Jesus here is my life. And so Jesus, thank you for reconciling us to your father in heaven, our holy God. May our lives on this earth reflect that same reconciliation that you gave to us. And we pray this in your holy name, Jesus. Amen.

Amen.