Our Spiritual Unity

Well, good morning again. Listen, I hope and trust everybody's making your plans for the July 4th. It's coming up here just in a few days. And let me remind you because next weekend kind of falls on July 4th weekend. We are doing one service. We do that from time to time on our holidays. So one service next weekend at 9:00 a.m. You will not want to miss it. And do not be late because somebody from the 11:00 service could get her earlier than you and sit in your seat. Okay? So make sure you get her early in time for our 9:00 a.m. service, one service next week. Um my group, my home group that my wife and I are part of, we kind of started the celebration of July 4th early last night. We had a home group get together. Um had a barbecue and just played cornhole. And I want you to know it was the best time. I mean, just like these people that we meet, we meet weekly with for Bible study and fellowship and just get together with no purpose other than to fellowship and and the broads were good, the hamburgers were good. Um the cornhole was good for a season. And here's why I say that. somebody in the group. I won't point names out because Tim is my friend, but Tim thought it would be a really good idea to have like a tournament. So, we picked up teams on there and that fellowship turned quite quickly into a serious competition. Okay? Like what started out as us having fun together ended up almost like we're leaving without speaking with one another. Okay? Because the competition got so much the trash talk kind of raised itself up a little bit. And um really I don't think I would have enjoyed the night if I wouldn't have gone home as the winning team. Okay. The fact that I was the winning team like yeah that's a good night but but it was interesting. Now I say that all in fun. We went home friends. It was good. But it was just you could sense in good fun. The unity that we started with became a little divisive as we went through the night just because the competition of it. And we laugh about that. But there are so many opportunities in our lives that we're part of that it's not quite so fun when something comes together as one, but before the evening or day is up, it's very divisive. Have you ever been at a family dinner and you came together to celebrate an occasion, but maybe politics got brought up and before the night was up, there was not a lot of unity around the table and kind of divided up in the table. Not those that like pie and those that like cake, but those that for this politician and those that were for this politician. Anybody ever been there before? You feel it, right? The tension in there. It's like we're supposed to be one big happy family, but you feel the tension. Or or maybe you went out to happy hour with some co-workers and you began talking about some controversial topic like homelessness or immigration and all of a sudden what was meant to be friends going out after work turned into like team one and team two and they did not like each other very much. That's another example of we should be unified, but yet because of conversations and topics, but more than that, opinions, we become divided. Um, those are examples, but I'll tell you an example that doesn't feel too good, but even feels worse than those. Has you ever felt that way at church? That we're supposed to be one body of Christ that comes together, and it's Jesus Christ himself that brings us together. But sometimes people have so many preferences and opinions and agendas that what is supposed to be one becomes two. And just like in this room right here, there's a dividing aisle. It's almost like and they sit over here and we sit over there. Or maybe what you feel is not so much a dividing aisle, but sometimes in churches it feels like a dividing wall, doesn't it? Um several weeks ago for our summer series, we began studying the book of Ephesians. And if you've joined us, it's been a fun series so far. Paul has been writing to the church of Ephesus and he's talking about all the good things they have in Jesus. That these people that used to be more about religion have turned more to be about Jesus and they have found all the benefits they have in Jesus. And I don't know about you, but these first few weeks as we've studied in in Ephesians, I walk away going, "Wow, that was like the perfect church, right? These people got along. They understand who they were and Jesus, and it was one big happy family. like if I could transport my time myself back in time, that's the church I would wouldn't go to until you come to today's verses. And what we find out and we're going to discover today in Ephesians chapter 2, and we'll start in verse 11 here in just a second, that Paul pulled back the curtains in what seemed like should have been could have been one big happy family, there was a little division taking place in there. And the division was really taking place because of what I just said in churches today. There were those who had opinions, those who had history, those who had their own agenda, those who had their own perspective. Instead of running all of that through scripture and what does God say about it, they landed on what do I think about it? And in the church of Ephesus 2,000 years ago, like many churches today around the world, there's a split within the church. not split. I go to this church and you go to this church, but we're going to stay in the same church. We'll just be two teams at one church. And so, we're going to dig in today together and find out what Paul says about these two factions within this one church. And the two factions going back 2,000 years ago were really the Jews and the Gentiles. Um, if you're not too aware of those two different groups, the Jews were those individuals who had been following God for centuries and centuries and centuries. Their fathers and their forefathers and their fathers and their fathers and forefathers. And they had a very tight religious group, a religious group that identified themselves more in the things they do did and the things they didn't do. They were very strict in their behavior, very strict in their actions. And so they even looked down over the centuries looked down at anybody that wasn't a Jewish person. They would take it so far to say if you're a Jewish person and there was a Gentile who was a non-Jewish person, they would not even allow them to come inside their house to eat because they might become dirty. And so you had the Jewish people over here. Then you had the Gentiles. And the Gentiles were really just a group of people that weren't Jewish. And the Gentiles that we're talking about in this particular instant was the ones who actually met who Jesus was. They accepted Jesus. They began following him. And they had come from a lifestyle not near as strict as the Jewish people. A lot more liberal in their perception, a lot more liberal in their attitudes. Their social kind of construct was very, very loose. And so when you took the Israel or took the Jewish people and you begin to mix them with the Gentile people, they all knew Jesus and you began to kind of mix them in the same pot, it was almost like oil and water. They began to separate. And there was some tension within these two groups, within the same church. And so Paul, starting here in verse 11 that we'll read again in just a second, he looks at him and says, "This is not the way it's supposed to be." In fact, you almost sense Paul is like this parent that steps in two arguing preschoolers in their home and going, "Okay, you go sit in that corner and you go sit in that corner and I'm not going to punish you, but I want you to think about what you've done." And that's what we find today in Ephesians chapter chapter 2 verse 11. We'll have it on the screen you have in your handout there. But let me just begin reading these verses so we can see specifically what Paul how he addressed the situation. He says this in verse 11. Therefore, remember that at one time and at this point he's really talking more to the Gentiles. There were more Gentiles within this church of Ephesus than Jewish people. So he takes a little kind of laser focus and he begins pointing and talking directly at them. Now, you could take the same conversation, you could have had it with the other side, but at this point, he's talking more to the Gentiles. He says, "Therefore remember that at one time, you Gentiles in the flesh called the uncircumcision by what is called this by what is called the circumcision which is made by the flesh in the flesh by hands. Remember, again, talking to these Gentiles, he's got them over in the corner going, "Hey guys, you're not acting right. So, you need to think about this. You need to remember that you were at that time separated from Christ. You were alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in this world. Here's what Paul's doing. Because as you read that, there's a whole lot of words you're going right over my head. He's going, "Hey, you Gentile people, you need to remember this before you like start building walls and dividing and being mad at these people. You need to remember this that before you met Jesus, you were alienated. Like you weren't even allowed to be a part of the group, this church that we call the church of Ephesus because you had no relationship with Jesus. You had no relationship to God and therefore you had no relationship to the Jewish people. So before you get all mad and draw a line and say this is my side or this is my team and we should do it my way, you just need to go back and remember who you were before you met Jesus. You were outsiders. You were alienated. You were strangers. I don't know about you, but sometimes I can get so caught up in the moment that I forget what's going on. That sometimes you need to look in the past to know where you are today, to know the steps you need to take in the future. And that's exactly what Paul is doing here. He's just going, just remember, there was a time that you were alienated not just from the Jewish people. you weren't just strangers of the Jewish people. You were alienated and strangers from God himself. That it was almost like there was a wall between you and God because the way hadn't been made through Jesus. You were way over there and God was over here. And then he goes on to say this. But now, that's how you were. Don't forget it. But now in Christ Jesus, you who were once far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two. So making peace and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. You're going, "What in the world did he just say there?" So he's going, "Okay guys, let let me remind you. You used to be real far away. You used to be alienated. You need used to be strangers. In fact, it was almost like what we said. There was this wall between not just you and God, but because you didn't have a relationship with God, there was a wall between you and the Jewish people that you don't even like right now." But but Jesus entered the picture. And if there's this wall built between you and God, if there is this wall built between you and the Jewish people, Jesus stepped in and took a wrecking ball to the wall. That Jesus wasn't going to stand for this separation first of all between you and God. So through his death on the cross and his resurrection, he became the wrecking ball that tore that wall down. He became the instrument, the avenue of you having peace between you and God. So before you start building up walls with other people, you better remember the walls that you had that someone tore down for you. And that someone was Jesus. He said, "But this wall that Jesus tore down, he didn't just tear it down so you would have peace between you and God. He also tore it down so you would have peace between you and other people." And he goes, "Those other people are those Jewish people over there that you don't even like right now. It's the Jewish people over there that you have something against. It's the Jewish people that maybe over the years didn't treat you the way you wanted to be treated. But Jesus came down. The wall was built between you and them. And he tore it down. He became the wrecking ball to tear it down so that you would have peace with your heavenly father and you would have peace with the Jewish people as well." It's kind of interesting as Paul's writing this that he uses this this phrase the wall. If you transport yourself back to the Jewish temple 2,000 years ago, the Gentiles would have just clicked this word, this idea, this phrase that the wall would have meant something. It would have been a trigger for them. For you see, if you would have walked into the Jewish temple 2,000 years ago when this was written and you were a gentile person and you walked in, you would have only gotten so far within the temple because there was literally a wall and the law wall had a sign and said and no Gentiles beyond this point. The Jewish people looked down on the Gentiles so much that they separated themselves so much for them when it came to worship. They actually had a wall within their church and said only the good people, only the Jewish people can go beyond this wall. In fact, there would have been a sign on that wall, not just saying no Jews beyond or no Gentiles beyond this point. There would have been notes written on there said, "And if you pass this wall and you're not Jewish, we will kill you." Now, can you see some of the tension between the Jewish people and the Gentiles right now? I mean, I share that with you. You're kind of going, "Dude, I'm team Gentile." Okay? Like, I might have been mad, too. I might have told the Jewish people to go find another church. Like, let's keep this wall up because if you've treated me and my people for all these years like that, why should we start treating you good now? But Paul goes, but Jesus had different intentions. The wall that we've made in our hearts to keep us from other people, the wall that we've created in our minds to say we don't want to be around those people. the very wall that's in the very temple where people worship. Jesus stepped in and said, "I will be the wrecking ball that we're that will tear that wall down." He called it the wall of hostility. Now, let me pause here for a second. We're not going to like answer in class and don't say it out loud. But as I talk about this wall of hostility, can anybody identify in your own life a wall of hostility with another person? C. Can you identify in your life a wall of hostility towards another group of people? Maybe there's a name on a person or just identity in a group, but we probably all have these walls of hostility. And so, as Paul is writing to the church of Ephesus, he's writing to them, but he's writing to us. Our situation may be different. We may not have the Jews and the Gentiles, but there's a good chance we have the us and the them within our lives. We have the you and the me that we put a wall up there. And Paul is trying to get across them that you need to remember. And he used these words within those verses. He said that Jesus came that might reconcile us both to God through the cross thereby killing the hostility. He said Jesus came for all people and it is coming for all people. It was to reconcile reconcile us both to Jesus together. Not you get Jesus and I get Jesus. So still let's not be friends. It is you and me to Jesus together.

And then he goes on in verse 17. He says, "And he came," meaning Jesus, "and he came and he preached peace to you who were far off and peace to those who are near." So he's going, "Hey, you you Gentiles who are far off and you Jews who are near, it's peace to both of you." Okay? He didn't doleil it out like you get a little and you get more. He goes, "You all got God's peace. For through him we both have access in one spirit to the Father. So then you are no longer strangers or aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and the members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets. Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone in whom the whole structure being joined together grows into a holy temple of the Lord. In him, you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the spirit. Here's what you could summarize that passage in so many words. Jesus came not only to be the wrecking ball of the wall. He came to be the bridge between one another. See, Jesus didn't come going, "Okay, y'all you guys kind of don't like each other. We're going to tear down this wall." And he leaves going, "Y'all figure it all out." Jesus actually laid his life down for us for a bridge to get to God. But watch this. He also laid our li his life down as a bridge that we would have a relationship between us and them. That's why he came to bring the peace. He used words like he brought us so we would be fellow citizens. Anybody in your life that you really wish wasn't a fellow citizen? You kind of wish their citizenship was in another country far far away. He said, "But Jesus came no matter which side you're on to make us fellow citizens." He said he brought us together to become members of the household of God. Like it's one thing to be citizens. That doesn't sound so personal, right? But he says he brought us together in a very personal way that we would be family together. And then he says, "He brought us together that we would be the temple of the Lord." Now watch this, the temple of the Lord. That means when you and I get together, regardless of our differences, regardless of our preferences, regardless of our opinions, when we get together as a temple of the Lord, we together should be a form of worship. Paul's looking at the Gentiles and Jewish people going, "You guys don't look like worship. You don't sound like worship. And if I got much closer to you, you don't smell like worship." He might even say this, "There's a stench coming from you because of the animosity between one another." And he goes, "So rather than a stench, you should be a beautiful aroma that we worship unto God." But he did more when Jesus came. Jesus did more than just unite us together. He redefined us together. He took us as fellow citizens that we have a shared kingdom together. As members of the household, we have a shared family as living stones of this temple of worship that we come together to build one place of worship. And so here's what Paul's going. Okay, you sit in your corner and you sit in your corner and I want you guys I want you people to think about exactly what's going on. You're all mad. You got this wall built between you, but Jesus came in and he tore the wall down and he wants you to be not two groups but one group. That is not just your purpose in life. That is your commandment of life. And so it gets me to thinking building bridges with people. What kind of people should I build bridges with? I mean we live in this vast world, right? It is hard to be build a bridge with every single person. So as we think about as our calling and our purpose and our command from Jesus that we should be bridgebuilders. What kind of bridges should you and I be about in our life? If you've got your hand out, I've just got four I want to share with you. four different what I'm going refer to as bridges. Bridges that will let you reflect the very grace that Jesus gave to you. So here's the first one. First bridge, we need to be building a big bridge. Be building a big bridge. You know, I love reading the gospels and I love reading the accounts of Jesus and here's a story here and here's a story here and here's a story here. But you know what? I can't wait to heaven going, "So what took place in between the stories, Jesus?" like when you weren't healing the woman or talking to the woman in the well or when you weren't healing the parapillegic that was lowered through the ceiling in in in the house when you were teaching that one day when you weren't doing these ministry things when you weren't feeding the 5000 what I want to know is what was it like to be around Jesus like when he walked from town to town did he walk sto like a mean or like a just a serious priest and he walked around like this or did he walk around with his disciples and his followers and were they laughing and joking and having a good time? What was it like to sit around Jesus when it was time to eat? Like, did Jesus go to some holy of holy place and he ate all by himself, or did he sit in the middle of it and just enjoy the fellowship? Like, I thought to myself, if Jesus was at our our home group last night that we got together, would he be playing cornhole and would he be talking trash? You know what my answer is? I think he would in a fun way. Okay. Now, I wouldn't want him to be there because he's part God. He probably would have beaten me. No one else there could beat me last night, but he might have could have beat me, so I wouldn't really want him to be there. But but but here's what I'm getting at. I believe, and the scripture doesn't come out and say this, but just looking at who Jesus is and the characteristics of Jesus, I just got to believe that Jesus was just a friendly, nice fella. Don't you think? Do Don't you think if Jesus went to the marketplace, he probably had a casual conversation with somebody and just smiled at him? Don't you think it was Jesus walking down the road and somebody was walking this way instead of doing those like this, he would have smiled and said, "Hey, are you having a great day?" Here's why I think that. Because Jesus's life was all about building bridges. And there's a number of accounts within his life that we read about in the Gospels where they were very specific bridges he was building. But I've got to believe that Jesus built big bridges. Think about him feeding the 5,000. 5,000 plus people came. There had to be this enormous just bridges going, "We want to be around him." Not just because he's doing these miracles, but like he's just a good guy. I read about in Colossians that Paul says this. He says, "Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders. Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation always be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that may you may know how to answer everyone. I just think Jesus walked around. He's going, I'm going to build a big bridge. I may not tell them all about my father today. I may not tell them all about salvation today. May not even do a miracle right now, but I'm going to build this big bridge because I'll be ready if anybody has a question. One of my favorite people to go to lunch with is Joe Hes. He's a former pastor here. Joe Hes is the nicest person to anybody. If you go out to eat with him, he can engage with the waiter more better than anybody I've ever seen. You'll walk up and the server will come up to you and have some tattoos on the arm. And Joe said, "Hey, nice to meet you. My name is Joe. Tell me the story about that tattoo." And by the time they leave there, I think that server feels like they have the very best friend. And Joe Hes who just ate lunch at that table, but he just has this knack of being approachable. He has this intentionality about being friendly. All for the reason that he wants us just to live out who Jesus is in his life. And so what kind of bridge do we build? You and I should be more aware in our everyday life to be intentional in simply building a bridge by being friendly, nice, and just just our disposition reflect that of Jesus. Now here here's another bridge you could build. Um, don't just build a big bridge, build a specific bridge. Let me read to you what Paul wrote and told the Corinthians. He said, "Yes, whatever a person is like, I try to find common ground with him so that he will let me tell him about Christ and Christ save him." If you've got your Ephesians book, um, you could go to the Corinth or it's not in your own Bible and circle I try to be build a common bridge, common ground. I do this to get the gospel to them and also for the blessing I might receive when I see them come to Christ. Do you see what he said there? He says,"I try to find common ground." He didn't say, "Wherever I go, I want to beat Jesus into them." He didn't say, "Wherever I go, I'm going to like scream they're going to hell if they don't turn to Jesus." He said, "Wherever I go, I just try to find common ground." And when he finds the common ground, he says, "So that he, that person, will let me tell him about Christ." Paul's not going, "Don't force your way in." He's just going, "Look for common ground." And that person might have a question. They might have a conversation to have with you. What about this? What if we all identified we left here today and we all identified one person that we said we're going to start building specific bridge with a specific bridge with that person to build the common ground so that if and when the opportunity arises you might share with them who Jesus is. I don't know about you but I get so busy in all my stuff that I lose my intentionality. What if it's your next door neighbor that you say hi to every single day for the past five years, but you've never had a real conversation with them? What if it's a co-orker that you could ask to go to lunch one day, just going, "Hey, let's just go have lunch and just I just want to check and see how you're doing. I know you just had a new baby a couple of months ago. How's it like coming back to work?" I mean, we could think of 101 things to talk about. But what if we all just chose one specific relationship that we would view going, "They are not my agenda. Jesus is my agenda. I'm just going to build a bridge, common ground in case there's the opportunity that I can share with them. So, build a big bridge, build a specific bridge. Here's here's a third one. Build a sturdy bridge. Now, here's the difference between a specific bridge and a sturdy bridge. Some bridges you build will take a very long time to build such trust with to build such such um just concrete stability with that it will take a long time but at some point that person may be open to it. Read a story this past week and it says this. Tom had lived next door to James for over five years. They waved politely when mowing their lawns, exchanged brief hells at the mailbox and nodded knowingly when the snow plows buried both their driveways, but that was it. No deep conversations, no invitations, no connection beyond surface neighborliness. So they had the specific bridge, but not a sturdy bridge. Tom, a committed follower of Jesus, had always hoped to share his faith with James, but never found the right moment. Then one day, Tom heard a sermon that shifted his mindset. The message was simple. If you want someone to know Jesus, start by loving them like Jesus. So Tom began taking the long walk across the yard. At first, it was an invitation to borrow a power tool, then helping James hang a ceiling fan. When James' father passed away unexpectedly, Tom showed up with a casserole and simply said, "I'm here if you need anything." Later, when James faced layoffs at work, it was Tom who offered a listening ear and practical help. Over time, the yard between them disappeared. In its place stood a relationship built on trust and compassion. You might say, "The yard disappeared and a bridge was built." One evening, sitting on the porch, James asked, "Why do you care about me so much?" And Tom simply replied, "Because someone once loved me enough to tell me about Jesus." And it was at that moment, not forced, not scripted, but real. And James listed, listened that a sturdy bridge had been built year after year, conversation after conversation, nice act, good act, helpful, helpful act was all built that allowed him to have that conversation. And so because Jesus is our peace, because Jesus came and he tore down the walls, because Jesus came and said, "I come to help you to be the bridge between you and other people." That a bridge to the father, we should be looking at these different bridges to build. But there's one last bridge I want to close with that we should consider building. It's not a new bridge, but it's an old bridge. an old bridge that was once a working bridge, but because of past hurt feelings, because of past disagreements, the bridge is a broken bridge. You see, if you go back to what we're reading in Ephesians, that's what they were really talking about, a broken bridge. It was two people that that just simply had relationships that were broken. And what Paul was specifically writing about is you don't just continually look for new bridge, new bridge, new bridge. Yes, that's part of it. But we need to be aware of the broken bridges around us. We need to be aware of the broken relationships in our lives. And because Jesus is, was and still is a peacekeeper. And because we are to exemplify our life like his, our lives should be that of peacekeepers. Peacekeepers aren't out of sight, out of mind, and I got peace. Peacekeepers bring people together. And so maybe in your life, there is a relationship that you wouldn't even maybe call a relationship right now because of the brokenness of it. that as a follower of Jesus and because you and I once had a broken relationship with Jesus or with God that Jesus pieced back together, then we should be willing to do the same. It says, in fact, 2 Corinthians chapter 5:18 says this, "All this comes from the God who settled the relationship between us and him and then called us to settle our relationship with one another." Another translation says that you and I as followers of Jesus, we have what's called the ministry of reconciliation. that God has placed the privilege or the burden, however you want to look at it, has placed the responsibility on us to be the peacekeepers to reconcile broken relationships. It's because through reconciling broken relationships may be the clearest picture of the gospel that when you and I approach somebody to try to re reconcile a broken relationship, it shows them in living picture exactly what Jesus did to us in reconciling our relationship to God. And so we have the ministry of reconciliation because he reconciled us. Then we are to reconcile others. Let me just take just a couple of minutes. You're going, "Okay, way to end that message." Okay, like what do I do? Like I I actually just thought of a person when you said that, but it's so overwhelming. How do I go about that? These aren't notes in there, but let me just give you just in my own life of broken relationships. Let me just share some things I've learned along the way on how to have the ministry of reconciliation. Here's the first one. You simply just have to identify the broken relationship. Fact, this may be the easiest step because right now you're thinking, "Oh, I'm thinking of this person or this person or this person." It's really easy to identify them, but so many times we put them out of our mind and think they don't exist. They're broken whether we think about them or not. So, we need to identify the relationship. Here's the next thing. As you think about how would I reconcile this relationship, start with humility. Realize as you begin taking steps to try to reconcile the relationship that the purpose is not to be right but is to be reunited. Let me say that humility begins when we recognize and identify the purpose of me moving towards that person is not to be right but is to be reunited. It is possible not to be right and be fully reunited. Just ask my wife. She lives with someone who's completely wrong and we are reunited. Okay? You can be totally not right but still be reunited. Now keep in mind when when you start moving towards this person, I don't think God wants us to be best friends with every single person. There are certain people in our life it is healthy to put good boundaries around. But I believe as followers of Jesus, we should have what I call the grocery store aisle principle active in our life. Here's the grocery store principle. um grocery store aisle principle that that that I'm talking about. Ever been going to the grocery store and you're about to turn down an aisle to go get something and you notice about twothirds of the way down there's somebody there you don't really care to have a conversation with. Maybe because there's a past disagreement, maybe because of something they said, but for whatever reason you're at odds with this person. So in the grocery store when you're about to turn down that aisle and you see that person, what do you do? I don't need those potato chips after all. and you go to the next aisle and you pass right by them, don't you? Because you don't want the interaction. I believe a relationship with Christ, while we may not be best friends with everybody and healthy boundaries are very good to have, we should be willing and able and ready to walk down any aisle of any grocery store with any single person on that aisle because we've kept as much relationship, open relationship, restored, reconciled relationships with that we can. But it begins with humility. Here, here's the next step. We simply just need to initiate communication. Like I believe this, most broken relationships were a little broken and lack of communication and silence and lack of communication breaks them even more. That the distance of the relationship broken would maybe not have been that much in the beginning, but lack of saying anything just enlarge the distance between people. And so initiate communication. Someone has to take the first step. And as a follower of Jesus, I believe it should be us. Like Keith, why do you think that? Who took the first step? Us or Jesus? If we're exemplifying our life like Jesus, we should be taking the first step towards people just like he did. And and it could be the first step in the communication could just be, "Hey, you've been on my mind. Can we connect and talk soon?" Or maybe you might just say something like, "I would better like to better understand how you felt about this. Can we talk so I can better understand you?" But begin the initiation the conversation. Here's three more. Listen to understand. When you finally sit down with that person where there's a broken relationship, listen to understand. You don't have to respond. You see, I think we've turned this in our life, in our society, that if I listen to you, I must have be validating you by listening to you. Listening does not create validation. Listening to you simply just says I'm trying to hear your side of it. In fact, one of the expressions I've learned in my life that I do so with and I've had to get better is when someone shares a frustration with me. When someone shares something about me or to me that they didn't like what I did or something about me, it's okay for me to say, you know what, I validate your feelings. I'm not giving away my power. I'm just understanding them more. So, we can listen and even validate their feelings without agreeing that they were correct in what they're doing. But we need to listen to them to understand, not to respond. Last two. Number five, extend grace and forgiveness.

Give the gift that God gave you. That's why we extend forgiveness. That's why we extend grace. Because Jesus was the peacekeeper and God gave it to us even when we didn't deserve it. The person that you're trying to reconcile may not deserve it, but we give it because Jesus gave it to us. And then here's the last thing. Pray that God would bless that person. This is the hardest step I think because you know what? There's some people that I'm trying to reconcile with I just don't like. There are some people I'm trying to reconcile with that I don't want to reconcile. You know why? Because in my mind I don't think they deserve it. But it is very difficult to have harbor to harbor ill feelings towards somebody when you're praying that God would bless them. When we can truly pray that God would bless somebody, God may never change them, but he'll change this. And this is what it's all about. Because God has given us the responsibility, because he tore down the walls, he's given us the responsibility to build the bridges. I'm going to ask the band to come up and and and we're going to sing one last song before we go. And and here's what I ask you as we sing this song. Don't just kind of file the sermon away going, "Okay, sermon done. Let's go and go to something else." Maybe as we're singing this last song, you don't need to sing and you just need to sit there going, "Okay, God, I know the person. What's my next step?" Maybe you need to stand there and going, "God, my heart is so angry. My heart is so bitter. Would you give me humility?"

But the greatest reflection of Jesus that you and I can give in our lives is that of grace and forgiveness. So, Father, we come for for you now. And and God, we we confess that we're not the best bridge builders, God. In fact, I'll just go ahead and confess sometimes I just do a whole lot better building walls up than I do building bridges.

But Jesus, you busted the walls down and you built bridges. So may we be like you in our relationships. May we be like you in our encounters with people. May we be like you in everything that we do.

That our lives would be reflection of your grace and forgiveness. And we pray this in your name Jesus. Amen.